Dinglehopper?
by SubeeTech
Summary: A parody/summary of the Little Mermaid. Contains most of the major scenes, told in Ariel's point of view! Please read! I think you will enjoy it!


**A/N: This is simply a few of my favorite scenes from the movie in Ariel's point of view. There are some slight changes, and some lines that would make you think I am making fun of the movie, but I promise, I absolutely LOVE The Little Mermaid. Genius work, I tell you. **

Dinglehopper?

After me and Flounder's narrow escape from the shark, I sat in our secret hideout, admiring my new dinglehopper. It was almost worth being nearly eaten by that shark, I thought. Using the dinglehopper, I gently combed my already perfect, voluminous hair. (Being a princess, and a Disney one at that, meant that you had to have beautiful hair! How else would you be able to make little girls want to be a princess? I always said Disney gave children unrealistic expectations for hair!)

Humans were just so amazing! They have thought of everything to make life easier on people! I've always been able to just sweep my hand over my hair, and then it would be nice-looking, but man, that dinglehopper just really makes it just a tad more voluminous! What I would do to find a human to call mine… To live out of these waters, to spend a day warm on the sand… man, I should become a song writer!

"Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? . . ."

* * *

Daddy yelled at me again for going to the surface! It isn't fair! He just doesn't understand how I feel! I bet that on land they understand! I bet _they _don't reprimand their daughters! I don't care about life under the sea! I don't care about being a princess, and never having to work a day in my life, and being able to sing as I please and swim around with all of my dear fishy friends! All I want is _stuff! _I'm a teenaged girl, so of course I'm materialistic! But I don't want just _any _stuff! I want rare stuff that you can only get by risking your life!

* * *

I went to the surface to watch fireworks last night, and I just so happened to have met this gorgeous boy! I'm in love with him, I know it! I can tell because when I saw him, I thought to myself, "Daang, that boy is FINE!" The thing is, the ship he was on caught fire! He started to drown! But as a princess, since I don't usually do anything involving hard work, I was reluctant to go and save him… But don't worry! I then remembered that I loved him, so I swam him to shore! By then the day had magically turned bright, even though it should have only been 1 A.M. at the latest… But anyway, me being the show-offish kind of girl I am, I sang to him in my beautiful voice! I told him that I didn't know how or when, but I knew that something was starting right then. I told him to watch and he'd see, someday I'd be part of his world. He seemed to really enjoy my singing, because he awoke claiming that he'd have to find who the beautiful voice came from. Of course, me, who shouldn't be seen by humans, swam off to hide on top of an extremely obvious rock that anyone would notice straight away, considering the fact that it jutted straight out of the water in an impossible manner, something you see often in Disney movies. Luckily, I was not spotted, and I went back under the water to sulk.

* * *

I couldn't get my mind off of him. Eric. He was a prince, of course. Princesses aren't allowed to marry anyone who isn't royal himself! That would be shaming! Disney has taught you well, young children! It was time for me to turn into a human myself. I was just thinking about how I would go about doing this, when two kind eels told me that _they_ could help me. I was completely convinced that the eels couldn't be evil, of course, so I followed them straight to Ursula, who then stuck a deal with me. She would trade me legs for my voice. She convinced me by calling me a poor unfortunate soul and telling me that Eric would love me if I used body language. Oh! And if I don't get him to kiss me in three days, I'll be her prisoner for life! But of course, it was worth the risk!

* * *

I was invited to eat dinner with Prince Eric and some of his people. I was so excited! But unfortunately, one of the maids dressed me in a bright pink dress that clashed horribly with my hair! But of course, I couldn't complain about it since I couldn't speak.

When I sat down at the table, I immediately spotted a dinglehopper! Why anyone would want to groom themselves at the dinner table, I didn't understand, but of course, I didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb, so I immediately began to run the dinglehopper through my hair with exuberance. I got some extremely odd stares from everyone. I nervously placed the dinglehopper down. Perhaps it's for _after-_diner grooming?

Once our crab was served, I saw Eric pick up his dinglehopper and stab the crab with it. He placed crab chunks from the end of his dinglehopper into his mouth. I suddenly realized that dinglehoppers weren't used for grooming after all! They were feeding devices! I felt terribly disheartened at the thought.

* * *

On my second night, Eric and I went on a boat ride together. He told me he wished that he knew my name. He started to guess some random names, until Sebastian whispered to him my real name.

"Is it Ariel?" he asked.

I nodded vigorously. Sebastian started playing music for us. He was trying to get Erik to kiss me! The song went on for several minutes, and near the end we were both leaning towards each other, our lips almost met, and then… SPLASH! "Of course…" I thought. Another little lesson of Disney's: Since kisses mean true love, they can't come easy!

* * *

I awoke the next morning to find that Eric was getting married! Not to me but to Ursula! I had to stop him! I swam all the way to the ship on which the wedding was being held, but by then the sun was setting, meaning I didn't have much time, but I stopped them right before they kissed. It wouldn't be exciting if I got there any sooner, so I made sure to waste time while swimming there.

Anyhow, I stole my voice back from Ursula, proving to Eric that I was the one he should love, not her. He was delighted, and he leaned in to kiss me, but _of course! _Disney could not make it easy on us, so the sun setted _seconds _before our lips met. Ursula broke out into maniacal laughter and dragged me back to her lair to make me her prisoner.

* * *

After being saved by my prince, (which of course always has to happen at least once in a Disney film) my daddy realized how much I loved (or lusted –cough-) Eric. He gave me a new set of legs, and Eric and I were married immediately afterwards, since we were already completely sure that we were each other's true loves after only knowing each other for less than a week. And of course, thanks to Disney, we lived happily ever after.

Review please!


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